I'm thinking I should start building an ark and collecting animals. We are getting rain again and they are expecting rain for at least 5 days straight, one day break and then more rain.

Annoying background images...#30 is my favourite!

Old people ARE funny!

FYI:
On Saturday, Feb. 25, at 7:16 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, the population here on this good Earth is projected to hit 6.5 billion people.

There's more now...

Bob Rivers with another parody. This time it's Dick Cheney...

Happy Birthday to you....Happy Birthday to you.....Happy Birthday to Frank (Bill, who is getting older and older). Happy Birthday to you. But it beats the alternative.

Another f'in cold. I REALLY wish people at work would quit coming in sick. I ended up having to stay home today because of my lovely co-workers coming to work when they are sick. I am so freakin' miserable!! Please please chop my nose off. UGH!

Another freebee from Google... Add free for the moment
rmarler.googlepages.com
Get your own Pages.google.com

width="240" height="180"
alt="Digital Electronic Entity Assembled for Nocturnal Nullification and Assassination"
border="0">





width="240" height="180"
alt="Functional Robotic Android Normally for Killing"
border="0">

Get this ... they are predicting snow in Sacto tonight.

I had no idea that "sagging" problems affect men too. If you have that problem...this video might have the answer.

Check it out. LA Times article on geocaching in which mom and I are mentioned. Got a call from CBS Evening News asking if I would be willing to be interviewed about geocaching if they decide to do a story. We'll see.

For you karaoke fans

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" "The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife" The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

MORAL : Women are evil

Don't mess with them !!!!!!!!

I sent out an email the other day to all y'all - Mel already responded. I need help putting together a comprehensive medical history on the genealogy site. I think it would interesting - and helpful - see just how many of our ailments might be genetic. You just never know. Y'know? Anyway ... please ... send me your stuff. K? Thanks.

Think before you speak...


Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....


FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"

I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.


SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"


THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case,the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."

My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.


FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.

I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch ,in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.

Then realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".

I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."

Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.

Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:

"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Incident on I-75

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on I75 south, just outside of Bay City,
Michigan.
Nothing is moving north or south.
Suddenly a man knocks on his window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened?" "What's the
hold up?"
"Terrorists have kidnaped Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Jesse Jackson, and
Al Sharpton.
They are asking for a $10 million ransom.
Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on
fire. "
"We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "on average how much is everyone giving?"
"About a gallon."

LOL
Blogjam presents: Neil Armstrong - The Truth

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill
Clinton. One smart-ass student turned in the following book report,
with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool
professor
gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic:..... $29.99
Clinton:..... $29.99

Titanic:..... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:..... Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:..... The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton:..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:..... Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:..... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:..... During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:..... Let's not go there.

Titanic:..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton:..... Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:..... Clinton doesn't remember jack.

Titanic:..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:..... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic:..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:..... Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.