Heres whats going on with me.

I have'nt been feeling so good lately. My energy level is in the toilet and there are times when I struggle to breath. My diabetes seems to be under control, but the angina and weakness isn't improving. Having spent the past 27 years working in hospitals makes me keenly aware of what the problems are and I'm under no delusions about the causes or where this path is leading.

Over the past year or so, I've been becoming more and more depressed over my health. It has affected me so much that I feel almost paralayzed at times, unable to even hold a thought or complete a simple task. Last week I hit some sort of mental wall. I sat in the van in the hospital parkinglot for 2 hours unable (or unwilling) to get out and fix the xray machine I had been called on. I ended up calling my boss and asking for some time off. That set off a chain of events that has left me on disability with the job and a flurry of medical and mental health evaluations. I'm still waiting on a few of the results, but here is my current diagnosis...

1. Coronary artery disease (no surprises there). Cardiac output is aprox 60%
2. Diabetes (under control) but my eyesight is significantly affected.
3. COPD. My pulmonary health is that of an 85yo man before breathing treatments, equal to a 75yo after treatment. (waiting to hear if I'll be on O2 or if I can just use inhalers).
4. Clinical depression. I suspected this but was caught offguard by how deeply it affects me. I've been dealing with this (or not) for the past few years. Starting medications as soon as the insurance company, therapist and my doc all get on the same page.
5. TIA's. They've been a regular occurance for the past year or so.

I don't know when or if I'll be released back to work or what that job might end up being. GE has been a wonderful company to work for and I can only trust they'll continue to support me. Much will depend on the treatment plan for my COPD (kinda hard to fix an MRI while tethered to an O2 bottle). I'm trying to be positive in all this but it is difficult to bear. I'll post more later.