FOOD FUNNIES: The Top Ten Signs You're Too Fat
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10. Only thing you read: takeout menus.

9. You've had a garage door installed in your bedroom.

8. Got cable just for the Food Network.

7. You skip your son's wedding because you don't want to miss
Blimpie's 2-for-1 sale.

6. Red Cross changed your blood type from "O" to "Pancake batter".

5. Scientists won a Nobel Prize for measuring your gravitational
field.

4. Blinking leaves you winded.

3. You buy ham by the square foot.

2. Southwest Airlines makes you purchase 3 tickets.

... and the #1 Sign You're Too Fat ...

1. You start every day with a nice, steaming cup of gravy.