I was absolutely certain that I'd never see or hear from her again. She was my first undeniable crush. Well, she's resurrected - just sort of popped back into existence. "Are you the same Tracey Russell that served with me in the supply room at Ft. Lewis? If so, I'd like to reconnect." Weeks later - you've got mail. It's her. I hadn't thought it would be, I admit. I had thought it would be like every other time I thought I'd found her again. This time - it's her again. And we've picked right back up with the joking and real conversation and camaraderie. Like 1990 was yesterday. Only this time - this time I know who I am. I can talk without stumbling over my words and I can be easy and show my teeth when I laugh. Tracey Russell - no longer a ghost, and the real is more interesting than the fantasy.