Ten Common Full-Time Employee Illnesses For 2005
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1. The Macy's One Day Sale Flu.

2. The Drivers License Renewal Appointment 24-Hour Virus.

3. The Friday-Afternoon-Start-The-Weekend-Early Sudden
Unbearable Stomach Pains.

4. The I'm Looking for a New Job and I Don't Know How Long It's
Going to Take, but I Want To Stay On The Payroll Until Then
Mysterious Infection.

5. The My Boyfriend's Got the Week Off So Suddenly I'm Too
Contagious To Come In To The Office Disease.

6. The I Need a Hair Cut and My Stylist Doesn't Make Evening
Appointments Bout of Influenza.

7. The There's No Federal Holidays for Two Months and I Want a
Day Off Sickness.

8. The It's Spring Break and I Want To Pretend I'm a Teenager
Again General Ailment.

9. The I've Messed Up Royally and I Won't Come In To Face the
Music Terminal Illness.

10. The I Really Am Sick and I've Got The Doctor's Bills and the
Completed Medical Expense Reimbursement Forms to Prove It
Infirmity.